I Hate When Things Don't Work Out As Planned

I'm sitting here on my butt when I should be at the very least doing homework but instead I'm contemplating even staying in school.

I got a phone call a while ago, a call I knew was coming, even expecting to confirm my appointment with Dr. G (my neurologist).

An appointment I was very much looking forward to, I know how weird does that sound, right? But I have been having alot of pain that I wanted to talk with him about and some other questions I needed to get answered. I fully expect every morning when I wake up to be in the midst of an MS crisis because the pain in my neck has been so bad for the past few weeks.

 I get the call and this little voice on the line informs me that because I don't have any insurance I have to pay $100.00 up front for the visit. Well that wasn't a surprise its always been that way. I have been saving that $100.00 since Christmas so I would be able to see Dr.G. BUT then this little mouse of a voice proceeds to tell me that I have to also make a payment towards my account or they wont see me. Well me not really expecting this just said OK and hung up the phone. Then it hit me...I cant come up with any money on the fly like that, its taken me weeks to save the money that I knew I was going to need.

So now as I sat there contemplating this turn of events crying hysterically thinking calmly I realize that now I have to call the doctors office back and cancel this appointment. Have you ever had to call and cancel a doctors appointment? They always want to play 20 questions, why are you canceling, do you want to reschedule?

It always tears me up to tell them no I cant reschedule because I cant afford it. I can just see them making so big red X on my file so that way everyone will know when they look up my name.

Its pretty sad that we live in one of, if not the best, medically advanced countries in the world but it cost so much for medical care millions of people are doing without care because we cant afford it.

Why finish my degree when the people that would most need my help will never get it because they cant afford it? I cant even help myself how am I going to help them?