Friday, October 29, 2010


   I can honestly say I don't think I have ever been so pissed off  aggravated,upset, disappointed (insert adjective here)!!!!

   If you have been keeping up with my blog you know since my diagnosis I have been fighting to get some kind of medical assistance. After lost paper work, wasted time on appointments, and months of waiting for a medical review board to meet to decide if I'm "disabled" enough to qualify for medicaid I finally got the letter in the mail I have been waiting for.

   Only it wasn't the news I was expecting. It was a big fat DENIED. Oh they were at least nice enough to acknowledge that after reviewing my medical records that I do indeed have MS, and that they understand I "may not be able to do the same work I had done in the past" I was still physically able to do "some type of work" therefore I don't meet the criteria of being disabled.

   So you tell me at what point in my day I am supposed to get said job that will pay enough to cover the cost of my medical care and my meds?

   I'm already taking the max dose of Amanadine which is supposed to help me not be so exhausted.That lasts all of about 4 hours then I HAVE to have a nap or I cant function. By cant function I don't mean "ya know a nap would be good about now" I mean I cant make a decision, I cant concentrate, I don't drive well because my reflexes are slowed, walking becomes even more difficult not only from the dizziness, but from the loss of balance and coordination and in extreme cases I have even been out somewhere and wondered how I got home because I don't remember it.

   My hands shake all the time, I have muscle spasms that cause me to drop stuff, numbness, trouble with balance, and that's all in the "good" part of the day. Not to mention my immune system that is now shot since starting my injection. I have had 2 cold/sinus infections in less than a month, and a tiny scratch, so tiny in fact, I didn't even know it was there until it got infected!

   (Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the injections. I was warned before hand that a very real possibility would be that my immune system would be effected. That's really the whole idea to keep my immune system from attacking my nerves but the draw back is it also makes me susceptible to every infection on Gods green earth.)

   So friends...You tell me what employer is going to hire someone with my non-disability when they could hire someone without all the drama, and if I did manage to find this seemingly perfect employer what are the chances of it paying enough to A) cover insurance (keeping in mind I have a pre-existing condition so the already sky high premiums that I already cant afford will be even higher) and B) Making enough money to cover co-pays and deductibles C) me being physically able to safely work enough hours to keep a job without hurting myself or someone else?

   I realize I'm not the only person even diagnosed with Ms and that some people with MS continue to lead seemingly normal lives. Unfortunately even before my diagnosis I was having trouble dealing with day to day life I just didn't have a name for what was going on, and my symptoms continue to deteriorate instead of stabilizing.

   So I would just like to say thanks. Thanks to this so called review board, that has neither talked to me or seen me in person, for making a decision that effects my life so drastically by reading about me in a couple of medical files that are several months old.

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