Sunday, July 10, 2011

Decisions and Disappointments --Update

Well the proverbial shit has hit the fan so to speak. The bad decisions have indeed ended in bad consequences. I wish I could say I didn't see it coming but I'd be lying which only increases the disappointment  and sadness.

Sadness because my momma's heart wants to fix it but my momma's head knows I have to let the chips fall where they may and hope some lessons are learned. I'm only sorry the lessons are being learned the hard way.

Disappointed because I know it didn't have to be like this and so much potential is being wasted.

Sadness because the consequences effect all of us in some way and therefore disappoints us all.

In all of this I know that God has a plan. It definitely is not the plan I wanted or expected but in the end its not our plan that is important but His and I have to trust that He knows whats best and what the outcome will be.

Please pray for piece and for knowledge for my family....

He never promised it would be easy only that he would be there to help us through it all.

Its always hard to watch someone you love struggle to make hard decision that can and sometimes do effect their future. Its even harder to watch someone you love be disappointed because of the consequences of those decisions. Whether we like it or not, whether we plan it or not our actions have consequences both positive and negative. Its the negative ones that we so remember and have the biggest impact not just on that person but everyone that loves and cares about that person.

Lately there has been alot of decisions being made in my family. Some with good consequences some with bad and with the bad comes disappointment.

I have watched my son struggle to transition from being a boy to a man and have to make decisions that will effect his future. Decision that, as a mother, I wonder if hes doing the right thing even knowing that they are his decisions to make and his lessons to learn. I struggle with letting him make those decisions and can only hope he learns from his mistakes when he does make a bad decision.

I have watched my step-son make bad decisions to return to a life I fear in the long run will lead him down a path that hes not strong enough to return from; knowing hes making a bad decision and being helpless to do anything to stop it.

Disappointments for them when their decisions don't have the desired outcome, disappointment for me because I don't want to see them hurting or disappointed.

It makes me wonder if this is how God feels about us? He sees us making decisions that will effect the rest of our lives and is powerless to do anything about it, only hoping that we somehow learn from our mistakes, loving us no matter what those decisions are or the consequences they may have.

 Loving us in spite of ourselves, unconditionally.

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