Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Paralyzed.....Hope...Fear.....

Theres so much going on today, tomorrow, this week. So much I need to be doing and I can't seem to make myself move. Its almost like being paralyzed by.....something.....but I don't know what. Fear maybe......hope.....both......is that even possible? I don't know. I don't know anything at this point in my day, in my life....except that I love my family and I am loved by Jesus, and even though I don't know whats going to happen, HE does. I wish I could say that brought me some kind of comfort, but I would be lying. I think I have OCD when it comes to my kids, I can't seem to let go, I have to be in control and know whats going on at all times. I'm faced with a situation now where I don't know whats going on, what's going to happen and I don't like it, not one bit! At the same time there is so much going on in the world that I kinda feel guilty for the way I have been acting and treating the people around me.

For example...Baby Stellan http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ is having surgery today to try and fix his little heart. ( I pray that everything is going well and his doctors are able to do the best they can to help him )
Or baby April http://www.littleoneapril.blogspot.com/ I can't imagine what her parents are going through right now.


In comparison my problems don't seem nearly as bad..........at least that's what I keep telling myself as I sit here, unmoving, for what seems like hours.... I pray for peace , I pray for knowledge and understanding...won't you pray too?

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