Election Crazed

   Well its that time of year again.


    The temperature is dropping, the leaves are dying changing color, and the freaking political signs are everywhere. Hopefully after today they will all disappear as quickly as they appeared. (with the exception of one local candidate who's signs were already taken down but more on that later)



   Do you get involved in politics (local or nationally)? Do you keep up with whats going on in the world as far as politics goes? Are you republican,democrat, conservative, liberal....or do you just not care?


   I have to be honest, until recently I would have said I just don't care. But theres alot of things that have happened to change my opinion about politics entirely.


   I think too much emphasis is put on voting for this person or that person just because of the party they represent. People don't take the time to do the research about the candidates running for office they just assume that because that person is a member of X party they must be the one to vote for. Its not like it takes a long time to do. If you can spend 2 hours on facebook a day you surly could spend 30 minutes googling the candidates and reading their platforms. I mean the computer is already on for goodness sake!

   I live in a predominately republican town. (yes I said that as if it were something nasty and distasteful if you were wondering) Most of the population of this town would be considered either upper middle class or upper class but there are a few of us here that are just middle class folks trying to make a living and fighting for whats right. I do love it here. It has the small town feel but is large enough to have a Wal-mart! HA There are times though, like election time, when I wish I lived anywhere but here.


   I get so tired of hearing about how the world is going to fall apart because we have a democratic president, or how the Democrats are trying are trying to take away their rights (and by their rights I'm talking about the affluent peoples rights). I just want to scream! I want to pull my hair out and yell at these people to turn the channel on the TV to something other than Fox news for a few min and get another view of the situation.


  People complain about the new insurance bill....my question to them is...have you read it? I mean really read it or are you just going off what you heard on the nightly news, because we all know how reliable the news can be. They would never skew the view one direction or the other and would never let their personal opinions get involved.(If you believe that I have some ocean front property for sale.) Granted its not all great but their are parts of it that are. The way I look at it is if I were buying a car and its the first year of the new design the manufacturer possibly hasn't worked out all the kinks and bugs yet, but once the cars on the road and up and running the kinks show themselves so they can be worked out. I don't think this insurance bill is getting a fare shake here but that doesn't mean I totally agree with it either....


   What would this country be like if we actually took into consideration what was good for everyone instead of whats best for ME.  Start asking how we can help everyone do better instead of worrying about how I can keep my money,my power my control...


   I get angry and frustrated about elections because anymore it has turned into a popularity contest instead of who the people think is capable of doing the best job.


   To all the people who say the world is going to fall apart because we have a democratic president or for those saying oh no what are we going to do if the republicans take over congress....

     This economic mess was started long before Obama took office and you cant dig out of a hole this big over night. It took years to make the hole its not going to miraculously fix itself overnight just because someone different moves into the big house on the hill.

    Take a few minuets out of your day and do a little research before you make a decision based on party lines.

Summer Vacation

   Thought I would share some pictures from our *family vacation to Branson Mo. this summer. We had a great time, well most of us had a great time, poor Ryan was just a little over a month out from major shoulder surgery so he didn't have as much fun as some of the others.

   *The entire family. My parents, brother,sister-in-law, and nephew, my husband,myself, and my 2 boys

Josh havin fun on the go carts

  

Chris on the go carts

Darin (my little brother)

My Dad

Little Daniel

 



The sharks were crazy



It was scary watching them swim at us

Little D playin video games at the aquarium FREE

One of the few times Ryan smiled all week hangin with his G-momma (AKA my mom)

My little bro gettin his butt kicked at a video game

  



Bumper boats was SO much fun because it was SO hot that day



He looks so sad, I'm sorry Rynie

All in all we had a great time. We went to a couple of shows and spent some time shopping. Lots of eating but what  can you expect with 2 teenage boys! We road the ducks and enjoyed just hanging out and spending time together before Josh and Ryan left for school the next weekend and Chris left town for work.

I love you all!

Treasure every second you can with your family.

DENIED

   I can honestly say I don't think I have ever been so pissed off  aggravated,upset, disappointed (insert adjective here)!!!!


   If you have been keeping up with my blog you know since my diagnosis I have been fighting to get some kind of medical assistance. After lost paper work, wasted time on appointments, and months of waiting for a medical review board to meet to decide if I'm "disabled" enough to qualify for medicaid I finally got the letter in the mail I have been waiting for.


   Only it wasn't the news I was expecting. It was a big fat DENIED. Oh they were at least nice enough to acknowledge that after reviewing my medical records that I do indeed have MS, and that they understand I "may not be able to do the same work I had done in the past" I was still physically able to do "some type of work" therefore I don't meet the criteria of being disabled.


   So you tell me at what point in my day I am supposed to get said job that will pay enough to cover the cost of my medical care and my meds?


   I'm already taking the max dose of Amanadine which is supposed to help me not be so exhausted.That lasts all of about 4 hours then I HAVE to have a nap or I cant function. By cant function I don't mean "ya know a nap would be good about now" I mean I cant make a decision, I cant concentrate, I don't drive well because my reflexes are slowed, walking becomes even more difficult not only from the dizziness, but from the loss of balance and coordination and in extreme cases I have even been out somewhere and wondered how I got home because I don't remember it.


   My hands shake all the time, I have muscle spasms that cause me to drop stuff, numbness, trouble with balance, and that's all in the "good" part of the day. Not to mention my immune system that is now shot since starting my injection. I have had 2 cold/sinus infections in less than a month, and a tiny scratch, so tiny in fact, I didn't even know it was there until it got infected!


   (Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the injections. I was warned before hand that a very real possibility would be that my immune system would be effected. That's really the whole idea to keep my immune system from attacking my nerves but the draw back is it also makes me susceptible to every infection on Gods green earth.)


   So friends...You tell me what employer is going to hire someone with my non-disability when they could hire someone without all the drama, and if I did manage to find this seemingly perfect employer what are the chances of it paying enough to A) cover insurance (keeping in mind I have a pre-existing condition so the already sky high premiums that I already cant afford will be even higher) and B) Making enough money to cover co-pays and deductibles C) me being physically able to safely work enough hours to keep a job without hurting myself or someone else?


   I realize I'm not the only person even diagnosed with Ms and that some people with MS continue to lead seemingly normal lives. Unfortunately even before my diagnosis I was having trouble dealing with day to day life I just didn't have a name for what was going on, and my symptoms continue to deteriorate instead of stabilizing.


   So I would just like to say thanks. Thanks to this so called review board, that has neither talked to me or seen me in person, for making a decision that effects my life so drastically by reading about me in a couple of medical files that are several months old.

Happily Hanging Out With Family

   So....

   I was in class yesterday and one of the other adult students in the class, one who...(whom?) I had seen out over the weekend, made the comment that I looked so happy when she saw me. That comment in itself was enough to make me smile.

   I was happy....

   This is why...

My whole family...

Plus one...

Was home all weekend.

And this is what we were doing.

Well not all we were doing. There was alot of eating and ALOT of laundry.

   This is the first time since Aug. that my boys and my husband have all been home at the same time. With both the boys in college with busy schedules, and DH working out of town it was great to have the family together again, even if it was just for the weekend.


    Have a Haunted Halloween!


  

Random Ramblings About Reality

   Its been a while since I posted so I'll try to catch you up with whats been going on. As usual the past couple weeks have been crazy.


   Last Monday I found out that NORD had finally approved my Copaxone injections and it was going to be delivered on Wednesday. Thank you NORD and Shared Solutions. It only took three months to get approval but hopefully it will be worth the wait! There is now a three month supply of $12,000 liquid gold sitting in my fridge!! It was easy to get excited about finally getting my meds until the reality of actually starting my injections kicked in on Monday when the nurse from Shared Solutions actually showed up at my house to teach me how to do the injections myself.


   The reality is, it SUCKS! Don't get me wrong I'm glad to finally be doing something to "treat" my MS but the reality is, it hurts. I'm told it will get better with time. I personally think the pain doesn't get better you just get used to it and it becomes your new reality.


   My DH and I went to Kansas to see my step-son play in his last football game of the season. For most it wouldn't be a big deal but this was the first time we had spent any time with him in three years. After his last visit we had so much trouble with him we told him he couldn't come back until he could act right. Well three years later, and several arrests later, he finally decided he was ready. I really do hope it continues.

Prayer and Patience

   I'm learning alot about patience on this roller coaster ride that is MS. At the same time I'm learning alot about the power of prayer.

   God does answer our prayers, we just have to ask. Weather its something trivial, or something monumental he wants to hear about it. That doesn't mean hes going to give us what we want just because we ask for it. He sees the big picture and knows our futures even if we don't. He always answers our prayers, even if we don't like the answers we get. I'm finding that out the hard way lately.

   When I had my first MS flare up (which wasn't really my first just my first one diagnosed) I prayed so much and for so many different things it got to the point I didn't know what to ask for any more. By the day of my scheduled MRI's I was just praying that my tests were not inconclusive. On the day of my appointment with Dr.G and what turned out to be the day of my diagnosis my test were in fact not inconclusive but they were not the answers I was hoping for.

   In the days since my diagnosis there has been many ups and downs, lots of prayers prayed. A big one for me has been how am I going to get my meds? God show me how. My meds are around $4000.00 a month just for my injections. Well after several long months of filling out paper work and waiting yesterday that prayer was answered in a BIG way.

   I was at school, as I am every Monday morning and got a phone call from an 800# that I clearly was not going to answer because 1) if its an 800# chances are is just a bill collector about my hospital and I have nothing new to tell them 2) I'm at school and not everyone needs to know my business (although I am telling all of you!).  The call went to voicemail, which until Sunday night had not been working, and surprisingly enough someone left a message. My thought was man those bill collectors are really persistent if they go to the point of leaving a message. After my last class was out and I had trekked what feels like 50 miles across campus I was sitting in my car trying to catch my breath I figured I would listen to the message and find out who wanted money now.

   To my surprise it was not a bill collector at all. I listened to the message 4 times before it really sank in what the woman from Walgreen's was telling me. She was trying to set up a shipping date for my first 90 day supply of Copaxone. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more.

 It comes tomorrow!

    I can honestly say I have never been so excited about getting a shot in my entire life! I'm sure the excitement wont last long once the reality of giving myself injections every day for the rest of my life sets in, but for now I'm ecstatic and oh so thankful.

A Lesson in Patience

We all have things to learn in this world.

 Evidently right now I'm getting a lesson in Patience. Weather I want one or not.

All of my paper work for my medical assistance has been turned in, twice. Back in Aug. I was told "they" ,whoever "they" are, only had 30 days to make a decision. Well its clearly been more the 30 days, still no decision BUT I did get a nice little letter in the mail saying "they" were waiting for more of my medical records before a decision was made. Turns out "they" are a medical review board that gets to decide if I'm considered "disabled" enough to get assistance.

Assistance that only lasts for 3 months.

3 months that have clearly come and gone.

So even if it were to be approved it wont do me any good at all except to pay my hospital bill from the diagnosis.

I'm also playing the waiting game with Shared Solutions, and NORD.

They are the companies I am trying to get my meds through. Its a long process of hurry up and fill out these papers, make copies of your entire life, send them in, and wait.  The wait is torturous. Its been six weeks since I mailed my packet off and you guessed it, still waiting.

The waiting is making me crazy!